Anal cramps are a pain in the a__e
They seem to take forever to pass
Besides being motionless
(And by that, i mean movementless)
The tension which ensues makes one see stars!
Then there’s hiatus hernia
Which isn’t as searing as sciatica
One, in the gullet, gets stuck
The other’s origin is the buttock
One causes a limp, and the other nausea!
Another pain in the neck is migraine
Which comes more from sunshine than rain
It can make one spue
Hope it never happens to you
It’s like a ticking bomb in the brain!
Have you ever noticed a minor ache
When you give yourself a hair-wash break
Any twist of a dirty tress
Will make you want to press
A hot-water bottle to it, or, an ice-pack, make!
Arthritis in the knuckle
Makes many a finger buckle
Also in other joints
It dreadfully disappoints
But with proscribed steroids, one shouldn’t truckle!
For us ladies, hair-removal is mandatory
Elegance comes from being smooth and sedatory
But the pain undergone
Is a wailing song
And almost makes one predatory!
Stubbing toes is an exquisite ache
We see stars and eyes tears make
Hobbling around
With toes bandage-bound
We wiggle and waddle like a duck or a drake!
Some pains-in-the-neck are the emotional kind
In every walk of Life we’ll them find
Oodles of patience
Salve our conscience
It takes all our guts to be smilingly kind!
The worst of all pains are in/of the heart
Blocked-arteries-causive, or tearings-apart
Physically, they can take you straight to heaven
Emotionally, drop you from Heaven No.7
I’m done now — boos or bouquets, you can start!



We all know that bees make honey
Better still, ‘tis not for money
Their homes made of wax
Utilize space to the max
Their Life-styles examples of hard-working harmony!
Wasps are the other immaculate builders
Couldn’t imitate ‘em for love of guilders
Of mud, leaves and paper
They’re the adroit user
But when annoyed, they are electric-shock stingers!
Bumblebees are marvels of engineering
For good fortune, they’re welcome and endearing
According to Man, they can not fly
But into bamboo they’ll drill and ply
Their stings too are buzzingly searing!
Beetles generally have a hard shell
Some even have a stinky smell
The scarab in Egypt
Considered sacred in script
They lent their name to The Beatles, who, musically, did excel!
Butterflies form part of this ditty
ainly because they are so pretty
‘Tween flowers they flitAnd spread-winged they sit
May they never be in the realm of scarcity!
Bundoos in childhood we cherished
Their iridescence we visually relished
Shiny green and rare
We’d gather them with care
But invariably, from our matchboxes, they vanished!
Velvet boochies form part of memories nostalgic
Those oh-so-soft, deep cerise-red, sort-of, tic
With the first of the rains
They would appear in our plains
And if we found one we’d really go ecstatic!
Then there are those once-a-year visitors
Sumptuous feasts for hungry predators
When the rains are heavy
They crowd ‘round lights like bees-to-honey
Their wings are shed copiously – like inhibitions of seductors!
Other monsoon-harbingers are dragonflies
Like delicate helicopters they alight and rise
Gossamer wings so iridescent
Watching them makes hearts ascend
How they got their names sure does surprise!


What would we do without these?
Tell me, Anybody, if you please
When you think about it
You’ll say, “Oh shit!”
And I guarantee your brow will crease!
Let’s start with an ordinary TABLE
As old as an Aesop’s fable
If it didn’t things elevate
We’d be forced to levitate
‘Cos with arthritic knees, we’d never be able!
Second comes the CHAIR
That would be quite fair
The comfort it can provide
To a weary backside!
Boy!  Without it, Life would be a nightmare!
Now, to the chair, attach WHEELS
For the disabled, delightful deals
Accord ease and mobility
To any and every facility –
Vehicles, pulleys and even thread and fishing reels!
On REFRIGERATORS we now totally depend
On them a good bit of money we spend
If they, by chance, conk out
We’re ready to scream and shout
Because a lot of food we’d then have to expend!
Ever wondered how COTTON is spun?
It’s absence anyone would stun
For diyas essential
And a crucial differential
Between comfort and cloth-connected perspiration!
What do you, Folks, think of a KNIFE
Cause – and ease – of a lot of strife
As a weapon definitely deadly
But helps in the kitchen so readily
And, in a surgeon’s hands, saves many a Life!
Another kitchen utensil
(As handy as a pencil)
To which I now refer
Is the SPOON to cook and stir
About it’s importance, am sure nobody will cavil!
BOTTLES are last on this list
But their usage cannot be missed
From Life-saving saline
To Omar Khayyam’s wine
Made of metal, plastic, glass, gourd, hide, wood – anything that matter will resist!


Bulbuls bathing in a bowl
Chirping cheerily with all their soul
They sound querulous
But are pretty garrulous
I dearly love their hysterical hyperbole!
Ubiquitous crows – sleek and handsome
Look at my hands and caw a welcome
They’re first in the chain
To gobble up the grain
But hard, stale chapaties, they’ll dip to soften!
Wood pigeons patiently bide their time
Cooing softly in poetic rhyme
Their pink feet so delicate
Their pecking immaculate
Moreover, they’re quite fun to mime!
Lately, parrots have joined the gang
Previously, for a guava-supper, they noisily sang
But the fruit’s out of season
Grain has become their reason
For perching on our posts, and with squirrels, to clang!
An occasional visitor is Black-winged Hawk
We know it’s come when squirrels all-together talk
It bathes in the bird-bath
And in the after-math
Stealthily, successfully, a pigeon or squirrel, stalk!
Sometimes sand-babblers swarm
Creating a gentle storm
Each with its yellow beak
Every dry leaf will tweak
Not grain, but grub, is their usual norm!
The coucal, with its bright, beady eye
Big, brown-winged, generally shy
Its prey too is larger
Hollow, its holler
Not a high-flier, along walls ‘twill normally ply!

Paeans to Poetry (18SEP14)

A haiku has syllables seventeen
Making poetry in it pretty pristine
Very short and sweet
They’re like a tweet
And generally soft as velveteen!
Dohas are couplets Indi-genous
For which Kabir Das was quite famous
Sur Das was school text
I know not who’s next
But Anoop Jalota made them melodious!
Four-line verses are called quartrains
Most poems pose in such refrains
They’re easy to rote
Easier to quote
And ballads are sung to soulful strains!
Five-line rhymes are limericks
Which i compose just for kicks
They should be funny
Quite often punny
But i use ’em for all-purpose knack-and-knicks!
A triolet has rhyming lines eight
They could be cynical, serious or sedate
Make them comical
Or try farcical
Just make sure they ain’t reprobate!
A pair of half-a-dozen and then a pair
That’s how sonnets do compare
Paradise was lost
At Milton’s cost
His incomparable ode to despondency and despair!
Then there are the ancients of epic proportion
English, Indian, Greek and Persian
Shakespeare and Valmiki
Homer and Firdousi
They told fine tales in poetic rendition!


Sometimes you just gottabe in awe of the moon
For lunatics a bane, but for fertility a boon
It’s gibbous tonight
But, oh, so bright
Just perfect for wolves, and some dogs, to croon!
When I wrote about the moon, Mister Sun looked askance
“Don’t you think I should’ve been first in sequence?”
I confess I was beat
By the Lord of Light and Heat
‘Cos first thing in the morning, outdoors, to Him I pay obeisance!
The stars then turned to me
Twinkling like LED
“Where art thou?” I had to ask,
“’Cos pollution and tall buildings do thou mask”
“Yes”, they cried, “We too lament with thee!”!
Logically then, the nine planets should follow
Pluto was dropped, much to everyone’s sorrow
‘Twas deemed a minor
Demoted from major
So, into the Far Firmament, it did itself burrow!
So, what comes next?  Nebulae
Of which, ours is The Milky Way
The Crab is another
God’s Eye – like Big Brother
And, thanks to Hubble, new ones are being discovered every day!
Now, here’s some food for thought
The possibility of what the mind can wrought
Is as big as The Universe
Which ain’t going in reverse
And it’s all in ourselves – and cannot be bought!
I shall end with an ode to Earth
Who is three parts water, one part dirt
We HAVE to take care of Her
With a shout, not a murmur
Stop over-using Her resources till there’s a dearth!


Isn’t it true that we change our belief
When Life throws up a different brief
‘Go with the flow’,
As most people know,
Will save heartburn, and a whole lot of grief!
************************************************************************************But what of principles that one does profess
At times they’re compromised, one must confess
The grey areas put one in a spot
When ‘No Choice’ is all one’s got
But does that make a Human Being any less?!
************************************************************************************We often practice, but, modestly, don’t preach
Show by example, not prolific speech
But when contrariness
Or even plain laziness
Takes over, then how does one teach?!
************************************************************************************These musings, dear Folk, have no particular aim
Just got into the mood to play a general game
When i thought, ‘Oh, how we change
Our Innate Tenets’ range!’
Because Life lumbers on — yet it’s ne’er the same!
************************************************************************************This is so true of friendships special
They were so close, though comfortably spatial
But when they outgrow
The heart’s dealt a blow
And the vibes once shared become so glacial!
************************************************************************************Then new ones come along to fill the void
Some even compel — dare you avoid!
If you accept with grace
The New that you face
Will give joy, whether virtual, real or android!
************************************************************************************There, i’m done with my Philosophy
Though am not even acquainted with Theosophy
These were thoughts shared
Inner feelings bared
Thanks to The WWW, they’re not bound by Geography!